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NaPoWriMo 12

April 13, 2012

NaPoWriMo websitePoem:  After yesterday’s exuberance today’s poem is about psychic discomfort rather than physical and behavioural!  This is a poem I wrote a couple of years ago when I was only just beginning to realise that I’d been sitting on a lot of emotions and not allowing myself to feel them, recognise them and definitely not express them.  But it just took a simple children’s Christmas song to unleash something far more elemental than I’d ever realised was in me.

Children singing Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer

A sudden seismic eruption

Bursts upwards from my belly 

as the shark

Breaks forth from within

It beats upward with elemental force.

Chilly, single-minded, untamed;

This alien primal power

crashing through my careful protections.

I fight.

Fight not to show what I feel.

My muscles cramp

Tightening together

Until the fibres strain against their anchor points

Can I hold it together?

My stomach sick, spasms

My chest tightens, is crushed.

I’m overwhelmed

Tears blow from my eyes.

I am distraught,

That such emotion lives in me.

That such a beast is needed

to bring them to me

So deeply hidden for so long

And all it took was

children singing

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer

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