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Hogwarts Musing (flash fiction)

April 18, 2012

Hogwarts musing

 

‘Of course I did.  Most of us did.  Who wouldn’t?  I was in the same year as Harry, I was even in the same Dark Arts group as him right up to when we took our OWLs.  I was a bit surprised not to get a mention, especially as it was my parents who got the pass level reduced for students at Hogwarts.  I’d told them that for the fourth year running we had yet another teacher, and the subject was hard enough without the inconsistency in approach and curriculum.  They complained to Dumbledore and he put in mitigating circumstances to the Ministry of Magic.  I still failed though.

What pisses me off the most is how there’s no mention of the rest of us.  it’s only the exceptional that get mentioned.  I can understand that his biographer has to stick to the main characters.  Mind you, you should have heard what a stink was caused when Rita Skeeter found out the contract had gone to a muggle.  Harry’s had to promise Rita quite a bit to keep her sweet.  Don’t be surprised if she gets exclusive rights to the next Quiddich world cup.

I hated Hogwarts. There were those it suited and those it didn’t and  It didn’t suit me.  To put it bluntly, I’m shit at magic.  Reading those books you assume that by the end of OWLs everyone can do magic.  Well, they can’t.  J.K simply drew a veil over what happened to those witches and wizards that failed their exams.

I’m a pureblood and my parents were livid.  They thought I was spending too much time down the three broomsticks drinking butter beer. I had tried it, but come on, say it slowly, butter…beer.  It’s disgusting.

They were that upset they even went to see some dodgy witch down the bottom end of Knockturn Alley to see if I’d been cursed, when that drew a blank, to see if they’d been cursed!

They pretty much disowned me.  They said they’d have preferred to have had a squib.  At least there are special schools for them.  Better to have no skills at all rather than just being really, really crap.

I only found out what’s magical about me when I went on work experience.  J.K doesn’t refer to that in Harry’s biography.  Us thickoes had muggle work experience.

I had a placement in a bank in the City and had the weirdest experience.  I found that whatever I said, muggles believed.  when I bought lunch on the first day I realised I only had galleons in my pocket, being nervous I told the woman at the till I’d already paid.  She believed me.  I caught on quick.  By the end of the day, even though the accounts I’d been told to balance didn’t, I told my supervisor they did.  He scanned them, agreed with me and I left.  Suddenly, for the first time ever, I felt what is was like to be magical.  The rest of the work experience was great.  I opened an account, had money placed in it (not too much) and vowed two things.  One, to leave Hogwarts as soon as possible and two, to work in the muggle world where I could get a job just by using my charm.

Now I’ve got a decent apartment, good car, holidays and a career behind the scenes in politics.  Can’t say precisely what, I don’t need any attention from either muggles or worse, the ministry of magic.

I see Harry’s books in the bookshops and think how clever he’s been.  A muggle biographer has helped his crossover appeal.  I reckon he’ll be the youngest minister for magic we’ve ever seen.  I know for a fact the Prime Minister is a bit concerned about the publicity Harry’s getting.  It wouldn’t surprise me if all of us, witches, wizards and muggles see a lot more of Harry in the future.  He wouldn’t describe himself as power hungry, but that’s the worst of people like him, he’s just convinced that he can help the most if he’s the one deciding what everyone else should do.  I’ll keep you posted.’

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