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NaPoWriMo 23

April 24, 2012

Poem: I’ve really struggled with producing a poem today.  I’ve nearly finished NaPoWriMo and won’t quit, but it does take a lot of effort.  But I have gained new understanding about myself which is more important than simply cranking out poems.  Today I realised that I’m not a Project Manager who happens to write, but I’m a writer that happens to be a Project Manager.  This takes a lot of guts for me to accept but it feels like I’ve been an upturned boat, sailing the oceans, wondering why it is so hard to navigate.  Today I lay claim to who I actually am and I feel like I’ve been put back the right way up.  Suddenly the controls make sense.  I can climb the masts, set the sails, steer for the horizon.  This has only come about when I wrote the following poem, which to my rather self-critical eye, isn’t one of my best.  But it doesn’t matter because it has been a catalyst for me.  There isn’t any real fanfare, more a settling in my gut.  So thanks NaPoWriMo.  I could write more, but I’ll let the poem do it.

A new understanding

this evening I’m stuck.
stuck for words
stuck for rhymes
stuck for inspiration.

Maybe I could write about pizza.
or red wine,
or cigarettes,
or cycling.

The issues I face at work.
The constant strain of
making a budget work
or making time to write.

But I’ve decided in this poem of sorts
to make the point that today,
I have a new understanding
about myself.

Today I realised that I am
first and foremost
a poet, a writer.
Who like many others with this calling

have to do other jobs
to make ends meet
and that my day job
pays me whilst I write.

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